Being Enby
Happy Transgender and Nonbinary Empowerment Month!
I just wanted to share this lovely comic by Shm Almeda about being an enby. Read the full comic here.
Your identity is valid no matter how you act, talk, dress, etc. (Disclaimer: This is NOT my artwork. All credit goes to Shm Almeda.)
Something that I wish I could tell my younger self is that you are valid just the way you are. You don't have to change the way you act, talk, or dress to try and be "nonbinary enough," because there is no one way to be nonbinary. There is no "nonbinary look." Identity is not representation.
It's easy to feel weighed down by all the ignorance in the world about nonbinary gender identities. Not everyone respects or acknowledges all of them, which can be quite harmful to LGBTQ+ individuals.
When I was in high school, becoming aware of how heteronormative and transphobic a lot of my local community was greatly affected my mental health. I owe my life to my close friends who supported, cared for, and respected me no matter what. They were the first people I came out as enby to. When I asked them to use they/them pronouns for me and call me by a new name, they accepted me without questioning. I don't know what I'd do without them.
It's okay if you don't want to change your body. You can still identify as trans and/or nonbinary! (Disclaimer: This is NOT my artwork. All credit goes to Shm Almeda.)
If you know someone who is enby, I encourage you to look at online resources and educate yourself. Please don't interrogate enbies—everyone has a different comfort level for talking about their gender identity. However, asking the right questions respectfully, such as "Are you comfortable sharing your pronouns?" and "Do you have a preferred name I can call you?" can go a long way in showing support in a world that seems to, 99.9999% of the time, only acknowledge the gender binary.
Side note: If you are a cis-gender person, I would caution against introducing yourself by saying "I use the she/he series." From my experience talking with other enbies, it can sometimes come off as condescending and flippant about pronouns as an important part of respecting people's identities.
Another note: There's this notion that nonbinary people are mostly AFAB. Ironically, I've met about the same number of AMAB enbies as AFAB enbies so far during my short time on this earth. Just some food for thought. Let's not let our biases or stereotypes exclude any beautiful people. Don't forget to include your AMAB enby friends just as much as your AFAB ones!
I hope that this post can help a little bit to show that if you're nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, trans, or questioning your gender identity at all, you're not alone! If you're not, I hope you learned a little more about how to respect your enby friends. 🤩
Resources:
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Our Ancient Ancestors May Have Known More About Gender Than We Do
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What I Saw in My First 10 Years on Testosterone (Cool article about a trans man's experience medically and socially transitioning)
Trans time isn’t linear. Beyond the shared experience of birth and death, many of us live in loops that double back on themselves: A second birth, a second death, two puberties, a collapsing of space-time that becomes, eventually, a kind of integration. — Thomas Page McBee